Searching for clarity, magic and success
I’ve been searching for myself and my Creator my whole life.
In Catholic School, I was taught that God listens to our prayers. So I went home and prayed on my knees at my bedside, begging for him to talk to me. Silence.
I went to a Buddhist Monastery for summer school where I sat, learned to meditate, listened to the gongs, smelled the wafts of Nag Champa and aptly waited for the void to give me something. Anything.
I decided that maybe I would find myself and where I came from if I became an astronaut and touched the stars. So I passed ground school at 13 and started training to be a pilot.
When it came time for college, the only thing that made sense to me was to major in Religious Studies and Philosophy. Maybe the Creator could finally be found in books. Maybe there were clues about me and the Universe, woven in the stage-plays of tradition and belief.
I struggled wildly through this journey. I was crippled with anxiety as a child, enmeshed in drug addiction as a teenager, overweight, insecure, lost, giving myself and my power away to anyone who wanted it.
Eventually I gave up and decided that my power must lay in the physical world alone. I got a degree in Nutrition Education, started my own private practice, and became obsessed with health and wellness. I ate an immaculate diet and worked out like an athlete, trying to gain dominion over this physical world – because I thought that maybe that is where my power and impact could be found.
Ironically, at the healthiest that I had ever been in my whole life, in my early twenties, I got sick. Bed-ridden sick. And the doctors said that I would probably never get better.
It was here that I had my spiritual awakening.
The BEST stuff of the physical world, including experts and professionals, couldn’t make me any better so I was forced to look behind curtains, through windows and into realms – spiritual realms – that I didn’t even remember or know were there.
And my life changed forever.
There was this old box of books that I had stored away when I was a teenager. At the top was a Numerology book by Mathew Goodwin, an MIT mathematician and just for fun, I read it.
When I crunched my numbers… I felt what I had been searching for my whole life.
I felt what, as a child, I tried to feel when I was praying and meditating.
I found what, as a teenager, I had tried to reach out and touch as I was flying.
And I experienced what I think the mystics had talked about.
I rubbed shoulders with that intelligent energy behind existence.I learned that I was an 8 Life Path in Numerology and it gave me chills… because the 8? It was a number that I was obsessed with when I was younger. I used to scribble it on my notebooks in elementary school. I even remember this snapshot moment when Mrs. Howlett wrote the number 8 on the chalkboard. I couldn’t stop staring at it. How did I know?
When I studied what the 8 represents as a symbol (and what it said about me and my purpose) I was drawn to tears. At that moment I knew exactly why I was sick. I wasn’t being the person that my Creator designed me to be.
I applied the wisdom of my numbers and I got better when no one said I would.
And when I crunched the numbers of my friends and family? The coincidences were unreal and impossible to ignore.
My father – A double 9 Humanitarian? Goosebumps. He had been a political and peace activist my whole life, dragging me out to protests as a teenager.
My sister – a double 6 Caregiver? Of course! She is the hub, the center, the provider of her family. Sacrificing anything and everything for those she loves.
Every boss I ever had was a 7. And all my girlfriends at the time were 5s. WHAT?
These synchronicities, these numbers, these patterns, were the fingerprints of God; the fingerprints of a divine intelligence behind existence. And they were leading me back, like breadcrumbs, to our purpose, our calling and our co-creative power.
My clients, loved ones and friends were receiving more clarity from learning about their numbers than they had received from decades of self-exploration, and I was hooked.
Decoding our numbers is like unrolling a love note from our Creator, reminding us of how valuable, needed and capable we truly are.
But Numerology alone didn’t change my life. It would be another 10 years – and hundreds of clients and thousands of hours of research and coaching – before I was able to figure out the missing puzzle pieces in crafting ALIGNED success and manifesting a truly enchanting life.